Some days, I don’t want to be seen.
Not in a sad way.
Not in a dramatic way.
Just… quietly.
Let the room dim a little.
Move softer than usual.
And I still eat.
Just in a way that doesn’t call attention to me.
A bowl of Shin Ramyun Shrimp.
Nothing added to make it special like what I always do.
Nothing styled.
Just noodles, broth, heat.
I let it cool a little before eating,
like I’m deciding if what I did was the right thing.
No presentation.
No effort to make it look like anything more.
Hashbrowns.
(And whatever’s available in the fridge - fried rice and tuna in scrambled eggs, in this case.)
Crisp. Structured. Predictable.
I take one piece at a time.
No rush.
No plating.
No need to fix anything.
Just something warm and steady in my hands.
Bite.
Pause.
Breathe.
Frozen cream puffs.
Cold. Soft. Quiet.
I take one.
Maybe another.
Not another more.
Always only at two.
Not to indulge.
Not to escape.
Just because that small sweetness feels… right.
Contained.
Enough.
When I don’t want to be seen,
I don’t stop feeding myself.
I just choose food that stays close to me.
Nothing loud.
Nothing that fills the room.
Nothing that asks for attention.
Just something simple.
Something steady.
Something that lets me exist…
without being watched.
--
Lady E
P. S.
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